Ken Hoinsky’s Statement about the Kickstarter How to Rape Guide
So, here’s a statement from the creator of the Kickstarter “Above the Game: How to Get Awesome with Women” (also known as the guide that promotes sexual assault and/or the rape of women):
“I am devastated and troubled by the allegations that my book, Above The Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women, promotes rape. That couldn’t be further from the truth. A handful of quotes were taken out of context and posted on Tumblr which steamrolled in a game of telephone where hardly anyone bothered to read the original version.
People took advice from a section on “Physical Escalation & Sex” and posted them online. Devoid of context, they appeared to be promoting sexually assaulting women when that wasn’t the case at all.
The gist of the controversial advice is “Don’t wait for signs before you make your move. Let her be the one who rejects your advances. If she says no, stop immediately and tell her you don’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. Try again at a later time if appropriate or cease entirely if she is absolutely not interested.”
The thing that the commenters on social media are leaving out is that the advice was taken from a section in the guide offering advice on what to do AFTER a man has met a cute girl, gotten her phone number, gone on dates, spent time getting to know her, and now are alone behind closed doors fooling around. If “Don’t wait for signs, make the first move” promotes sexual assault, then “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid was a song about rape.
That cherry-picked advice, without that important context, makes it sound like I am advocating non-consensual sexual advances on strangers. I would absolutely never do such a thing.
In fact there is an entire section on consent that the bloggers conveniently left out to paint me in a poor light:
These are copied verbatim from Above The Game:
IMPORTANT NOTE ON RESISTANCE:
If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says “STOP,” or “GET AWAY FROM ME,” or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens. Stop escalating immediately and say this line:
“No problem. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
Memorize that line. It is your go-to when faced with resistance. Say it genuinely, without presumption. All master seducers are also masters at making women feel comfortable. You’ll be no different. If a woman isn’t comfortable, take a break and try again later.
Of course if you’re really unclear, back off. Better safe than sorry.
—-
You understand that honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.
With great power comes great responsibility. You understand to your core that her heart will be broken if she ever feels manipulated by you. You literally have the power to color all her future interactions with men. As such, you demonstrate supreme desire without a drop of presumption. You make your intentions clear. She will never put you in the friend zone. You approach authentically. You leave her better than when you find her.
—-
Additionally, the book contains an entire chapter on sexual assault & rape, preaching men what not to do. Of course no one has seen those parts yet because the book hasn’t been released yet.
I realize these are delicate issues, but I ask people to lower their pitchforks until they take the time to hear the full story.
Thank you.”
He’s devastated, you guys. But not enough to understand that we’re not exactly stupid and no, those quotes were not taken out of context. Like “Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.” DON’T ASK FOR PERMISSION. How is that a consensual sexual advance?
That fact that his text and arguments are so muddled that further context must be divulged, means there’s a problem with the content.
Also? Not everyone who is being pressured by sexual advances will say ‘NO’ or ‘GET AWAY FROM ME’. Life isn’t scripted. People freeze up under pressure on occasion. So, just because they didn’t say ‘no’, doesn’t mean they’re saying ‘yes’. And it doesn’t mean try again later.
The fact that we have to argue these points is fucking ridiculous. Tumblr, internet, go sign the petition to get this funding revoked:
www.dosomething.org/petition/kickstarter
And if it doesn’t get revoked and you have the misfortune of running into someone that has taken his “advice”, in most cities you can defend yourself to a point where there is no longer a threat to your person. So, break some balls until they realize they need to back off.
